Hurting

I am so pissed off!!!! (just to be honest).
It feels like knots inside
my heart is going to jump out of my chest

Every time I see the congrats
every baby that is born
I just scream WHY?!!!!

Why were they the "lucky" ones?
Why was Bella taken from me?
What did I do?

At least if I knew why, then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much...

I Vote for Righteousness...

I've been so worried about the elections coming up. I just really have no one I want to vote for. It can be overwhelming or even discouraging to think what could happen if "the right" leader isn't voted in.
YES...we need to pray.
YES...we need to vote.
YES...we need the Spirit's leading.
But more imortantly, I feel we need to focus COMPLETELY on Jesus. We need to be active, but not obsessive, about the coming elections. Trust in the Lord, No plan of God's can be thwarted (Job 42:2). We must seek Him and His kingdom first.
I am encouraged that by these words the Lord spoke to me....

Psalm 146
"Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.
I will praise the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
Do not put your trust in [presidents], in mortal men, who cannot save.
When their spirit departs, they return to the ground; on that very day their plans come to nothing.
Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God,
the Maker of heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them— the LORD, who remains faithful forever.
He upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry. The LORD sets prisoners free, the LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down, the LORD loves the righteous.
The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow, but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.
The LORD reigns forever, your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD."

One Year Late...

A whole slew of things have happened this last year. Everything I never expected to happen...did! Being a manger at Crane, Getting Married, going to school, Buying a house.... the list could go on! I am so thankful for all that God has allowed to happen in my life. Thank you Lord.

This next year I want more. More of His love. More of the Kingdom of God in my life. I want to be blown away with the things that God does.

YES LORD!

Desires...

I long for Jesus' return, "my soul is crushed with longing," Psalm 119:20. I hope for the full revelation. The word desire stresses the strength of feeling and often implies strong intention or aim. I desire Him. I desire to know Him and be fully known. I feel overwhelmed with His love and His presence. When I look at Him, just for an instant, I am ....lost for words. I am nervous and I sometimes think it is too good to be true. But it is true, He is real, Jesus is coming back. For a pure, spotless, aching, fasting, hungry, beautiful, unified, bride.
Are my desires His desires? Am I fasting, for the bridgework's return? "The attendants of the bridegroom cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? But the days will come when the bridegroom is taken away form the them, and then they will fast," Matthew 9:15. Jesus says "they will fast". Oh, he expects us to be so filled with desire for Him and the Spirit that we would empty our earthly bodies and cry out for us to be filled with Him. I WANT YOU JESUS! COME BRIDEGROOM! PREPARE YOUR BRIDE! "I know that your judgments are righteous," Psalm 119:75. Come! Give us grace to fast, Let us not be consumed and choked by the spirit of this world, but let us be consumed by Your Holy Spirit!! "For our God is a consuming Fire." Hebrews 12: 29. CONSUME ME!
Even more than my aching, longing or desire; " I am my beloved's and His desire is for me" Song of Songs 7:10. Jesus desires us more than anyone has ever desired or had a longing. He has strong intentions towards us. He intends to captivate us by His love.
Empty yourselves for "He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty," Luke 1:53. Let me be hungry for the Spirit and not rich with the pleasures for this world.

In Love...

I love these girls!!!!

Meet Nyakim. She is so beautiful on the outside, and she has a fire on the inside. A fire that can't be put out, she is trying to be a young woman, but is still so young in many ways. She is still so curious, still loving, still tender...even when she thinks she is tough.
Lord Jesus, I ask that you would continue to mold her and shape her heart to be completely yours. I pray that she would have a revelation of your fire that burns for her. I pray she would know you more intimately and she would grow in her walk with You.






This is Nyajuok. She is adorable. You can fall in love with her when you first meet her. She is so sweet and always has questions. She has no fear...just innocence.

Lord Jesus, I pray for Nyajuok, I ask that you would protect her from the enemy. Protect her heart, keep her safe. I pray that she would always be a woman of purity and innocence. I pray that you would reveal yourself to her in a new personal way.






And Nyaroom (?) I just met tonight....again. I guess she remembers me from strehlow and I remember that beautiful smile. She has such a soft heart, and she is always smiling, even when she has to hold her pants up cause her belt is broken :)

Lord I pray for Nyaroom, I ask that she would know you Jesus. I pray she would know you closer than her best friend. I pray Holy Spirit, that you would reveal the Father to her and she would give her life to serve Him.

A Quotable Quote...

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
-Jack Kerouac

I am not sure what this all means...but I LIKE IT!!!