If You Think Seattle is Just the Space Needle...You've Been Duped.

In the recent success of the Seattle Seahawks victory, I have gotten a lot of shout outs. Even with my new job, they remember that I am from that area, and everyone is congratulating me. "Hey, way ta go on getting to the Superbowl." I like to respond with a smile, or sometimes I like to try to act like I am a true fan. But the truth is I could care less about them, let alone football in general. I have gotten to like it a bit. I've watched a few college games, but I don't follow it or understand it completely.
I remember going to a couple Seattle Seahawks games back in the day, and to my recollection, we always lost. I remember going to a game where we played the L.A. Raiders, and that was a LONG time ago, I thought I would get shot cause they were like a "gang" team. Ya know, gangs wore their coats....so anyway, we lost to them too. With all that to say, I guess I've never been a fan. It's sad but true. I can not accept the acclamations since I truly have not stuck by them.

The real heros are those who've stuck by, even when they lost to the gang teams. Who, even though they may be beat up at the end, still rooted for them.

I give you a Seahawk Salute!!!

While looking for good Seattle skyline pictures on www.google.com, I noticed that they all had HUGE representation of the Space Needle. As if the Space Needle is really THAT big. Well, for you information, it is not THAT big.

As you can see in this picture, it is kinda a small building. It's big for a person, but not the biggest building in Seattle; like some pictures want you to believe. So, I just wanted you to know, so you don't feel duped like Oprah did. Don't just go to Seattle to see this HUGE Space Needle cause it won't be THAT big...but it is cool looking.

This is a freebee. It's was my favorite place to people watch. If you don't usually people watch, this a great place to start. I love it. I miss it.

If you want to go see it, You should!

This some what relates to how I am feeling about my life right now. Ha!

Check them out at www.despair.com

A Prayer When Overwhelmed and Desperate...

I cry aloud with my voice to the LORD;
I make supplication with my voice to the LORD.
I pour out my complaint before Him;
I declare my trouble before Him.
When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,
You knew my path
In the way where I walk
They have hidden a trap for me.
LOOK to the right and see;
For there is no one who regards me;
There is no escape for me;
No one cares for my soul.
I cried out to You, O LORD;
I said, "You are my refuge,
My portion in the land of the living."
Give heed to my cry,
For I am brought very low;
Deliver me from my persecutors,
For they are too strong for me.
Bring my soul out of prison,
So that I may give thanks to Your name;
The righteous will surround me,
For You will deal bountifully with me.
PSALM 142

Freedom in Silence

"His words were softer than oil
Yet they were drawn swords.
Cast your burden upon the Lord
And He will sustain you;
He will never allow the
Righteous to be shaken."
- Psalm 55: 21-22

I was shaken, but you held me still.
Trapped in vain imaginations, but you shined reality.

When things collide and trouble comes near,

Your voice seems gone but you are here.
I choose YOU. Not the best things in life -- Just raw Jesus.

bare - naked - bruised - bashed - alone - silent - cold - shamed - pure - forgotten - accused -

loving - mangled flesh - blood soaked - bones displaced - tears flowing - heart broken -

unpopular - misunderstood - alone in the crowd - no home - saw the best - treated the worst

lover of all men

devoted to me always.

I am a freak of nature. I am always different from the norm. I constantly am changing and I never know where I am headed. I sometimes think I am going one direction, but My Friend always whispers invitations to live by the rules of love.
A love that Is. It Is because He Is. All I know today is He Is, and He Is with me. It’s in those times I hear Him, and I know my insanity and abnormality is by invitation only. Many are invited, but few RSVP. Few are chosen.
I may not be chosen to do big things in the eyes of others, but I am chosen to big things in His eyes. BIG things might seem different to those who look on the outside, but inside He sees the change in people, He hears my worries and cries, He feels the pain I feel for people. He is moved to bring a change. He is moved by love, and we are moved by Love, and it is in Love that the world is changed. Be in a love that IS; “I AM in love with you.” Know what it is to feel for someone. Know what it is to feel the pain. Know what is it to move the heart of the One that made your heart, lungs, nerves, and stomach.
I am not alone in my abnormality, there is someone else who is different from the norm, and I am thankful.

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am NOTHING.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me Nothing.
Love is patient
Love is kind
And is not jealous
Love does not brag
And is not arrogant
Does not act unbecomingly
It does not seek its own
Is not provoked
Does not take into account a wrong suffered
Does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth
Bears ALL things, believes ALL things, hopes ALL things, endures ALL things.
1 Corinthians 13

Sweet Sixteen

After hanging out with a group of 16-17 year olds, I came to realization that I am old. Ok, I know I am not like ancient old, but I felt old. But in the good sense of old, like the biblical "old is beautiful" old. I realize that being old, or getting older in general is this taboo thing that is supposed to be bad, and in America we turn it into this shallow depressing thing to use to pity ourselves about all the things we don't have because we are such-and-such an age.
But really, tonight, I realized I am SO thankful that I am where I am and when I am. There is no other age I'd rather be. I know God is using me and showing me more about myself and it is exciting. I, for sure, do not want to be sixteen, and that does not reflect in any way on any of the sixteen year olds I know now. But when I was sixteen my life was in shambles. Especially compared to the sixteen year olds I know now. I didn't even know what college was, and they are all applying and figuring out there life goals. I am STILL figuring those out! And they said that they can't wait til people stop asking all the "questions", "Do you have a boyfriend? Where are you going to college? What is your major? What are you doing with your life?"
I told them the good news and the bad news.

Good news: God is a good God, and He has big plans for them to know Him intimately and Be used in His Kingdom. He will lead them.

Bad news: The "questions" don't stop til you are at least 30.

*DEEP THOUGHTS* by Jack Handy

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

Some Mountains I've Climbed...

I am praying for God to move MOUNTAINS....and move them to Omaha, Nebraska!!!!

This is Rainier. I used to see him everyday, now he is just a memory. I can only reminisce about the beauty I took for granted everyday.

Montana. It was heaven on earth. It was so beautiful with all the goats, bears and marmots running around. I loved hiking there, especially when my Grandma would say, "it's just a little hike." And it was 15 miles. "But the next hike will only be 11," She said. But that was one way. Ha... gotta love her.

This is Chirripo (no I am not cussing). It was the first "mountain" I climbed to the top. It is actually a peak, the second highest peak in Central America. It is in Costa Rica. So much fun! So much green! It took us 8 hours to get to the base camp (not the top yet!) We found out that there are men who will carry your backpacks for you, and they can get up in 4 hours. Whoa! (I put a picture one of those guys for you.)

Does the "Mount" of Olives count?

So, the point of this being..it is high time I go hiking!!!

Yes, I am obsessed....

So I will save you the suspense, I am going to write about a good book.
Or to quote my sister, "Ya, she'll probably quote this book she is obsessed with and relate it to her life." Ha, I love my sister she knows me so well. So I will just say that this book, to me, seemed like it wouldn't relate. It's about a shepard named Santiago. Yep... But sure enough I find myself dropping my head in my hands and telling everyone around me who will listen, something that spoke to me through it. I love it.
Some of the highlighted points:
"He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have."
"There was nothing to hold him back except himself."
"'He should have decided to become a shepherd,' the boy said. 'Well, he thought of that,' the old man said. 'But bakers are more important people than shepherds. Bakers have homes, while shepherds sleep out in the open. Parents would rather see their children marry bakers than shepherds. .. 'In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them then their own Personal Legends.'"

well, I am also pleased to announce, Katie has become an official Donald Miller fanatic, just like me! She is reading Blue Like Jazz, it's a good one!

So What Are You Doing?

It's a simple question really, and everyone seems to ask it. What are you doing? Sometimes we ask it occasionally, or literally, but it always sneaks in the conversations lately or...Always. It's an annoying question, right up there with, "How are you?" It is pretty much the only way to strike up conversation though. I mean for me, I know I am not confident in myself to think of anything interesting to say, or a quirky thing to ask, so I too succumb to the habit of the suposed "I care" question, but it really lacks depth.
For me, I never know how much too share. I think I am an honest person, so I don't like to lie about what I am doing, but I also don't always want to answer. Because the matter of the fact being, I want to do nothing. Nothing in the way that nothing is, me & God, and discovering the freeness that doing nothing really is. I want to accept the invitation that Jesus gave to sell all, and live by faith like Abraham...GO WEST! But can I really?
I think of being a friend of Jesus, and I wonder what it was like to just sleep wherever, not knowing where you were going to be or what would happen the next day. Is it possible to live that dream? I've had dreams, but they seem to be interjected by the "real world". It's my fault, really, letting things seep in. I just can't handle it all, and I certainly can't handle The Question. It's hard to feel alone, it's lonely to feel misunderstood. I guess in those feelings it's a way to know Jesus. But in it all, I know that I am made for a reason, I am made to love God and be loved by God and to love others. That's all that is required, and I don't know what else I am doing right now; except trying to do that.

The answer to my insanity lies with Donald Miller....

(all written by Donald Miller, Through Painted Deserts)
My life, this gift I have been given, has been wasted, thus far, attempting to answer meaningless questions. Recently I have come to believe there are more important questions than how questions: how do I get money, how do I get laid, how do I become happy, how do I have fun?

What does all of this mean? Are we animals nesting? Are we rats in one giant cage, none of us able to think outside our instincts? And does my faith live within these instincts, always getting me to my happiness, or is it larger, explaining the why of life, the how a shallow afterthought?

Sometimes I admire people who don't ask why questions, who only want to know the how of life: How do I get paid, how do I get a wife, how do I make myself happy, whatever. The why path isn't so rewarding, if you think about it: Why are we here, why do we feel what we feel, desire what we desire, need what we need, hate what we hate?

I saw this Calvin and Hobbes cartoon once that had Calvins teacher asking the class to turn in their homework. Calvin raised his hand and asked why we exist. The teacher told Calvin not to change the subject but to turn in his homework, and what difference does it make anyway? Calvin leaned back in his chair and mumbled to himself that the answer to the question determined whether or not turning in his homework was important in the first place. I think that is what I am talking about here, about needing the answer to the former question before the latter becomes important, about why questions determining whether how questions are important.

And that is what I mean by admiring people who don't think about the why questions, because they can just get a job, a big house, a trophy wife, and do whatever they want and never ask if it is connected to anything, whether their how is validated by their why.

Point being: I AM A WHY PERSON!!!

INSPIRATION IS IN THE DESERT...

I am inspired by the ways that the Person that made the universe continues to show me ways of thinking that are different from what I think is normal. I am consistently consumed with a narrow-mindedness that is killing me and those around me. I have such big impending possibilities that are all around me. Growing in this fertile land can be overwhelming. Living where everything is expected of you and anything less than taking advantage of the best is a waste.
But what if it isn’t a waste. What if some are meant to just chill and look around? Somehow, we subsist by doing what is predictable; living in the norm. Even if it means the norm of those in your church. I mean, I have talked with people, and most want to be different, “I want to make a difference in this world,” but we all just hang out, go shopping, go to work, “do whatchya gotta do” I guess. I know that I can’t handle it all.
Well, I think I need a change. In a book I am reading, he says…
“The seasons remind me that I must keep changing, and I want to change because it is God’s way. Everybody has to change, or they expire. I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes, so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it is time for things to die. I want to keep walking away from the person I was a moment ago, because a mind was made to figure things out, not to read the same page recurrently.”

I Got Soul But I'm Not A Soldier....

PSALM 62: 5-8

My soul, wait in silence for God only,
For my hope is from Him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
My stronghold; I shall not be shaken.
On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my stength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart to Him;
God is a refuge for us.

IF

If I didn't speak, would You hear me?
If I didn't believe, would You pray for me?
If I didn't feel, would You hug me?
If I didn't answer, would You call me?
If I didn't listen, would You speak anyway?
If I didn't move, would You give up on me?
If I didn't hear, would You choose someone else?
If I didn't care, would You ignore me?
If I was broken, would You step on me?
If I didn't remember, would You forget me?
If I didn't notice, would You pursue me?
If I didn't dream, would You desire me?
If I hated, would You love me?
If I frowned, would You like me?
If I tried, would You laugh?
"Keep me, won't You....Keep me."

It's Cold Out There....

So Bundle Up!!!

I have a confession...

Tis the season... for lights, wrapping paper, giving food, holiday drinks, ginger snaps, coat drives, coldness, ugly socks, and last but not least, giving. Some of these things I like or they are not a problem for me. Because lights...well they are just hung, and food...it's always good, but the giving can be rough.
I am not talking about gifts, I love that part. I am talking about one certain inevitable sound that hits you after you have spent all your money, and you are about to head out into the blistering cold when you hear the sound...the dinging bell people for Salvation Army. It is the only time in my life, I have not been a cheerful giver. I, in fact, am so defiant that I try to not give. I say in my head, "just look away, try to act like you don't hear." But being the nice polite person I am, I have to respond back when they say "hi" and "God bless you" so then I am sucked into the vacuum of guilt, until I finally reach in and put money in the bucket. I hate it. I am in no way giving out of the goodness of my heart, I am completely giving out of guilt. I feel guilty that this person is standing here where it is cold and telling me "God bless you" as I go in and spend my money on crap. I feel guilty to respond back and say hi without giving, and even worse if I were to not say anything and not give. Plus, I just hear condemnation all over saying, "Aren't you a Christian and all, give give give!!!!" Ya, it's probably not healthy. But what do you do? I try to be a rebellious giver and NOT give, but I can't. I am too afraid they will yell, "You are horrible!" or "She didn't give and look at all her bags!" as I walk by.
I don't even know anything about the Salvation Army. I am pretty sure they aren't actually an "army". I don't know where my money is going, and yet I am forced to give it all the time! I am a sure it's a great organization and all, I am probably a big jerk for hating the bell ringers. (I don't hate the people just the guilt bell and condemnation bucket).
Maybe it's not Salvation Army's problem, maybe it's mine. I should probably look into that.
Until next time, MERRY CHRISTMAS! GOD BLESS YOU! even if you don't give!!!

Amaglamation Of Words

I have a new love. It is English. I love words. I love grammar. It's all fascinating to me. It is so freeing to write and let out my feelings. I love to write and I love to read, where you read about a subject that is written with depth and feeling with BIG words that you have to look in the dictionary. Oh I LOVE the dictionary. It's exhilarating to read words that when you look up the definition it sums up what can be said in one paragraph. OH, words...how I love thee!

Here is a little song that makes me take deep breaths and close my eyes....

What can i do with my obsession?
with the things i cannot see
is there madness in my being
is it the wind that blows the trees?

sometimes you're further than the moon
sometimes you're closer than my skin
and you surround me like a winter fog
you've come and burned me with a kiss

and my heart burns for you
and my heart burns

and i'm so filthy with my sin
i carry pride like a disease
you know i'm stubborn God and
i'm longing to be close
you burn me deeper than i know

i feel lonely without hope
i feel desperate without vision
you wrap around me like a winter coat
youcome and free me like a bird

and my heart burns for you
and my heart burns for you.

Thanksgiving Day With the Family

Now this is just a hilarious picture...I love Katie's face!
















Nebraska is #1 ~ (for today!)

Here is all the Ehrenberg cousins!

Me, Katie, and Julia

HAPPY THANKS GIVING TO ALL!!!!

The Process...

The End!