In Love...

I love these girls!!!!

Meet Nyakim. She is so beautiful on the outside, and she has a fire on the inside. A fire that can't be put out, she is trying to be a young woman, but is still so young in many ways. She is still so curious, still loving, still tender...even when she thinks she is tough.
Lord Jesus, I ask that you would continue to mold her and shape her heart to be completely yours. I pray that she would have a revelation of your fire that burns for her. I pray she would know you more intimately and she would grow in her walk with You.






This is Nyajuok. She is adorable. You can fall in love with her when you first meet her. She is so sweet and always has questions. She has no fear...just innocence.

Lord Jesus, I pray for Nyajuok, I ask that you would protect her from the enemy. Protect her heart, keep her safe. I pray that she would always be a woman of purity and innocence. I pray that you would reveal yourself to her in a new personal way.






And Nyaroom (?) I just met tonight....again. I guess she remembers me from strehlow and I remember that beautiful smile. She has such a soft heart, and she is always smiling, even when she has to hold her pants up cause her belt is broken :)

Lord I pray for Nyaroom, I ask that she would know you Jesus. I pray she would know you closer than her best friend. I pray Holy Spirit, that you would reveal the Father to her and she would give her life to serve Him.

A Quotable Quote...

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars..."
-Jack Kerouac

I am not sure what this all means...but I LIKE IT!!!

If I’ve ever needed anything…it’s Jesus. All the times I look back, at the pain, loneliness, despair, all my dreams, all my hunger, rage….Jesus has been there.

He is my true love. Real love is this…

~giving up everything for the other

~forgetting all wrongs

~see the person’s heart, not outward appearance

~not boastful

~not rude

~hopes the best

~believes all

~forgives

~dying for the other

~changes me

~breaks me

~never forsaken

Real love is Jesus. Only Jesus can give all these things, Only He can heal me ….Completely.

Bring peace to the war inside.
King Jesus you are all I have.
All I hold on to.

Get Out There and Do It!!!

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi said that. That quote has spoke to me a lot lately. I've felt so many things in my heart for so long (Ok well maybe like 3 years) but there is always excuses, and always "funner" things to do. But the one thing that satisfies is doing the will of God. Not that random fun is not God's will, but so many times I look for the things that are so individual or so inclusive, and I miss an opportunity to invite His Kingdom in my life by choosing to "serve" or actually do what scripture says.
I can't explain the great fun I usually have when I do the things I think will be hard or wear me out. Or instead of sitting around complaining about what is wrong.... GET OUT THERE AND DO IT!!! And I don't mean talk about it, just start small. Start with giving a homeless person a dollar and talking to him. Or go to a poorer neighborhood and pray there. Do something, don't let these amazing opportunities pass you by! I still have so much going on that I miss these amazing Kingdom moments, but everyday He is opening my heart and ears to hear the Spirit. I want to be in tune with the Spirit, "The wind blows where it wishes and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from and where it is going; so is everyone who is born of the Spirit." John 3:8 Lord, let me be like the wind!!
In "being the change I wish to see in the world", my old friend Nyakim called me recently and we got to be together! I wish to see change in their lives, I wish to see them captivated by Jesus' love and to see them live fully in the purposes God has for them. I wish to see their enemies be put to shame because of the power of God's love in their lives. Thank you Jesus for opening my heart and letting me see some of your heart for kids in our city. Change Omaha into a safe place for children, into a place that all the world knows as a city that honors Jesus.

Special Friends

Well I never got to go to my prom (or at least I didn't choose too). So the next best thing is to go to Special Friends Prom!

Ya it was a good time, I pretty much loved seeing my students cut loose and dance the night away.

My favorite thing that happened was seeing one of my students who is normally shy come out and say how "absolutely stunning" some of our girl students looked that evening. Then to see him sit around and not dance...until suddenly he jumped up and grabbed one girl and started dancing like crazy.

I just love my job!!!

what is it worth?

"Now listen, you rich people, (YES THAT IS YOU!!!), weep and wail because of the misery that is coming upon you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. (THIS IS THE LAST DAYS, BY THE WAY). Look! The wages you failed to pay the workmen who mowed your fields (OR MADE YOUR CLOTHES) are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. You have condemned and murdered innocent men, who are not opposing you." James 5:1-6
I've been avoiding it, I can't even type it now. But I know I live in sin. James also says, "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
I know the Lord loves me, and He still speaks to me. But I know His voice is a little softer, and more distant because I keep ignoring His cries for His children over seas; who work in factories that make the fashion I keep buying. Even though I don't know what to do, I have to let it out. I have to acknowledge the fact that this is true of me. I guess it's my way of confessing my sin.
In the book: The Irresistible Revolution; Shane Claiborne writes, "I listened as a child from Indonesia stood to share and pointed to the giant scar on his face. 'I got this scar when my master lashed me for not working hard enough. When it began to bleed, he did not want me to stop working or to ruin the cloth in front of me, so he took a lighter and burned it shut. I got this making stuff for YOU.'"
He said that now the statistics had a face, and that poverty became personal. I want friends like the boy in Indonesia. I don't want to necessarily have a rally and picket in front of department stores. More than that, I want to be consumed by Jesus, so much so that I wouldn't even have time or desire to buy anything from murdered or exploited children or that I would be able to hear the "cries of the harvesters" when I walk into a place that sells that stuff.
I struggle to write this because now I have to be accountable to my convictions. I might be judged, I might hear the accusation of the enemy in my head. But I know my Shepard, I am His. I hear His voice. Let me hear it all the more as I see my poverty in front of You! I know I am "wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked!" revelation 3:17. Purify my heart!
"Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent....To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne. HE WHO HAS AN EAR, LET HIM HEAR WHAT THE SPIRIT IS SAYING TO THE CHURCHES!" ~ Revelation 3:19, 21-22

Severe Problems

I am addicted to chapstick, lipgloss, lipglow, tasty-gunk-on-your-lips-crap (as it's been described to me in the past.) I have recently been aware of how bad it really is.
I was without it for about 3 hours the other day. In which case I was freaking out, but when I got back to it, I was thankful.
Anyway... Now, two days later, my lips are severely chapped. Yes, they are dry and cracky. I think that means I have a problem. Or do I?

My favorite right now is Bath & Body Works Mint Infused Lip Gloss. Yep, Carla told me about it. I love it. You gotta try it!

How Deep the Father's Love For Us!

How deep the Father's love for us

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the Chosen One

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the man upon a cross

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin taht held Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will nost boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom

I was recently asked a question at work by my Christian co-worker (Christian...a term used loosely and I pretty much don't want to be associated with). She asked what about people in remote villages that can't hear about Jesus, how will they be saved. I answered with Romans 1:18-20, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse." I also said, we are judged according to what we know. "To whom much is given, much is required."
Then she asked me about Baptism, "Well, if they don't have the bible they won't know to be baptized, so how will they get to heaven."
I was taken aback.
I almost said, who careas about baptism!!?? But I know it is good. I told her the whole shin-dig about baptism, how it's an expression of proclaiming your faith publicly. We had to get back to work, but then I just couldn't stop thinking about her question. It broke my heart. And I believe it broke Jesus' heart.
I can feel Jesus' heart breaking when people think like that. The mercy of God is so vast, so overwhelming, so immense we can't even understand it or explain it. Jesus is longing, with tears streaming down His face, wanting to be with His people...but they are caught up in distractions like baptism... something that was meant to bring us closer to Him, but it is now a blockade.
I can see some of His heart, crying, grieving, in Matthew 18:6, "But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea."
How many times have I questioned the mercy of God when it comes to the broken, homeless, hopeless? I think, "How can they fully come to know You, Jesus?" Or I question if people do know Him cause they are still stuck in sin... But God's mercy is greater. In Luke 23:40-43 we see true salvation, the true reality of "how to get to heaven"... "One of the criminals who were hanged there was hurling abuse at Him, saying, 'Are You not the Christ? Save Yourself and us!' But the other answered, and rebuking him said, 'Do you not even fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed are suffering justly, for we are receiving what we deserve for our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.' And he was saying, "JESUS, REMEMBER ME WHEN YOU COME INTO YOUR KINGDOM!' And He said to him, "TRULY I SAY TO YOU, TODAY YOU SHALL BE WITH ME IN PARADISE.'"
The mercy of God is that none would die without a chance to cry out in the midst of drowning, dying in the consequences of our sinful deeds. Jesus accepts all that cry out to Him, all that ask to be with Him. I find it interesting that both the criminals believed Jesus was the Christ, but only one of them repented of his sin and asked to be with Jesus. I want to give mercy to everyone I meet, like Jesus gave mercy to me. I want to stop looking and analyzing every little thing about peoples lives, and give mercy. Mercy to hunt for, look for, ask for, search for, try to find, seek after JESUS and Him alone. To know Jesus and be with Him now and for ever in Paradise.

Psalm 119

1How blessed are those whose way is blameless,
Who walk in the law of the LORD.
2How blessed are those who observe His testimonies,
Who seek Him with all their heart.
3They also do no unrighteousness;
They walk in His ways.
4You have ordained Your precepts,
That we should keep them diligently.
5Oh that my ways may be established
To keep Your statutes!
6Then I shall not be ashamed
When I look upon all Your commandments.
7I shall give thanks to You with uprightness of heart,
When I learn Your righteous judgments.
8I shall keep Your statutes;
Do not forsake me utterly!
B Beth.
9How can a young man keep his way pure?
By keeping it according to Your word.
10With all my heart I have sought You;
Do not let me wander from Your commandments.
11Your word I have treasured in my heart,
That I may not sin against You.
12Blessed are You, O LORD;
Teach me Your statutes.
13With my lips I have told of
All the ordinances of Your mouth.
14I have rejoiced in the way of Your testimonies,
As much as in all riches.
15I will meditate on Your precepts
And regard Your ways.
16I shall delight in Your statutes;
I shall not forget Your word.
G Gimel.
17Deal bountifully with Your servant,
That I may live and keep Your word.
18Open my eyes, that I may behold
Wonderful things from Your law.
19I am a stranger in the earth;
Do not hide Your commandments from me.
20My soul is crushed with longing
After Your ordinances at all times.
21You rebuke the arrogant, the cursed,
Who wander from Your commandments.
22Take away reproach and contempt from me,
For I observe Your testimonies.
23Even though princes sit and talk against me,
Your servant meditates on Your statutes.
24Your testimonies also are my delight;
They are my counselors.
D Daleth.
25My soul cleaves to the dust;
Revive me according to Your word.
26I have told of my ways, and You have answered me;
Teach me Your statutes.
27Make me understand the way of Your precepts,
So I will meditate on Your wonders.
28My soul weeps because of grief;
Strengthen me according to Your word.
29Remove the false way from me,
And graciously grant me Your law.
30I have chosen the faithful way;
I have placed Your ordinances before me.
31I cling to Your testimonies;
O LORD, do not put me to shame!
32I shall run the way of Your commandments,
For You will enlarge my heart.
H He.
33Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes,
And I shall observe it to the end.
34Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law
And keep it with all my heart.
35Make me walk in the path of Your commandments,
For I delight in it.
36Incline my heart to Your testimonies
And not to dishonest gain.
37Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity,
And revive me in Your ways.
38Establish Your word to Your servant,
As that which produces reverence for You.
39Turn away my reproach which I dread,
For Your ordinances are good.
40Behold, I long for Your precepts;
Revive me through Your righteousness.
V Vav.
41May Your lovingkindnesses also come to me, O LORD,
Your salvation according to Your word;
42So I will have an answer for him who reproaches me,
For I trust in Your word.
43And do not take the word of truth utterly out of my mouth,
For I wait for Your ordinances.
44So I will keep Your law continually,
Forever and ever.
45And I will walk at liberty,
For I seek Your precepts.
46I will also speak of Your testimonies before kings
And shall not be ashamed.
47I shall delight in Your commandments,
Which I love.
48And I shall lift up my hands to Your commandments,
Which I love;
And I will meditate on Your statutes.
Z Zayin.
49Remember the word to Your servant,
In which You have made me hope.
50This is my comfort in my affliction,
That Your word has revived me.
51The arrogant utterly deride me,
Yet I do not turn aside from Your law.
52I have remembered Your ordinances from of old, O LORD,
And comfort myself.
53Burning indignation has seized me because of the wicked,
Who forsake Your law.
54Your statutes are my songs
In the house of my pilgrimage.
55O LORD, I remember Your name in the night,
And keep Your law.
56This has become mine,
That I observe Your precepts.
C Heth.
57The LORD is my portion;
I have promised to keep Your words.
58I sought Your favor with all my heart;
Be gracious to me according to Your word.
59I considered my ways
And turned my feet to Your testimonies.
60I hastened and did not delay
To keep Your commandments.
61The cords of the wicked have encircled me,
But I have not forgotten Your law.
62At midnight I shall rise to give thanks to You
Because of Your righteous ordinances.
63I am a companion of all those who fear You,
And of those who keep Your precepts.
64The earth is full of Your lovingkindness, O LORD;
Teach me Your statutes.
T Teth.
65You have dealt well with Your servant,
O LORD, according to Your word.
66Teach me good discernment and knowledge,
For I believe in Your commandments.
67Before I was afflicted I went astray,
But now I keep Your word.
68You are good and do good;
Teach me Your statutes.
69The arrogant have forged a lie against me;
With all my heart I will observe Your precepts.
70Their heart is covered with fat,
But I delight in Your law.
71It is good for me that I was afflicted,
That I may learn Your statutes.
72The law of Your mouth is better to me
Than thousands of gold and silver pieces.
Y Yodh.
73Your hands made me and fashioned me;
Give me understanding, that I may learn Your commandments.
74May those who fear You see me and be glad,
Because I wait for Your word.
75I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are righteous,
And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.
76O may Your lovingkindness comfort me,
According to Your word to Your servant.
77May Your compassion come to me that I may live,
For Your law is my delight.
78May the arrogant be ashamed, for they subvert me with a lie;
But I shall meditate on Your precepts.
79May those who fear You turn to me,
Even those who know Your testimonies.
80May my heart be blameless in Your statutes,
So that I will not be ashamed.
K Kaph.
81My soul languishes for Your salvation;
I wait for Your word.
82My eyes fail with longing for Your word,
While I say, "When will You comfort me?"
83Though I have become like a wineskin in the smoke,
I do not forget Your statutes.
84How many are the days of Your servant?
When will You execute judgment on those who persecute me?
85The arrogant have dug pits for me,
Men who are not in accord with Your law.
86All Your commandments are faithful;
They have persecuted me with a lie; help me!
87They almost destroyed me on earth,
But as for me, I did not forsake Your precepts.
88Revive me according to Your lovingkindness,
So that I may keep the testimony of Your mouth.
L Lamedh.
89Forever, O LORD,
Your word is settled in heaven.
90Your faithfulness continues throughout all generations;
You established the earth, and it stands.
91They stand this day according to Your ordinances,
For all things are Your servants.
92If Your law had not been my delight,
Then I would have perished in my affliction.
93I will never forget Your precepts,
For by them You have revived me.
94I am Yours, save me;
For I have sought Your precepts.
95The wicked wait for me to destroy me;
I shall diligently consider Your testimonies.
96I have seen a limit to all perfection;
Your commandment is exceedingly broad.
M Mem.
97O how I love Your law!
It is my meditation all the day.
98Your commandments make me wiser than my enemies,
For they are ever mine.
99I have more insight than all my teachers,
For Your testimonies are my meditation.
100I understand more than the aged,
Because I have observed Your precepts.
101I have restrained my feet from every evil way,
That I may keep Your word.
102I have not turned aside from Your ordinances,
For You Yourself have taught me.
103How sweet are Your words to my taste!
Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!
104From Your precepts I get understanding;
Therefore I hate every false way.
N Nun.
105Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path.
106I have sworn and I will confirm it,
That I will keep Your righteous ordinances.
107I am exceedingly afflicted;
Revive me, O LORD, according to Your word.
108O accept the freewill offerings of my mouth, O LORD,
And teach me Your ordinances.
109My life is continually in my hand,
Yet I do not forget Your law.
110The wicked have laid a snare for me,
Yet I have not gone astray from Your precepts.
111I have inherited Your testimonies forever,
For they are the joy of my heart.
112I have inclined my heart to perform Your statutes
Forever, even to the end.
S Samekh.
113I hate those who are double-minded,
But I love Your law.
114You are my hiding place and my shield;
I wait for Your word.
115Depart from me, evildoers,
That I may observe the commandments of my God.
116Sustain me according to Your word, that I may live;
And do not let me be ashamed of my hope.
117Uphold me that I may be safe,
That I may have regard for Your statutes continually.
118You have rejected all those who wander from Your statutes,
For their deceitfulness is useless.
119You have removed all the wicked of the earth like dross;
Therefore I love Your testimonies.
120My flesh trembles for fear of You,
And I am afraid of Your judgments.
W Ayin.
121I have done justice and righteousness;
Do not leave me to my oppressors.
122Be surety for Your servant for good;
Do not let the arrogant oppress me.
123My eyes fail with longing for Your salvation
And for Your righteous word.
124Deal with Your servant according to Your lovingkindness
And teach me Your statutes.
125I am Your servant; give me understanding,
That I may know Your testimonies.
126It is time for the LORD to act,
For they have broken Your law.
127Therefore I love Your commandments
Above gold, yes, above fine gold.
128Therefore I esteem right all Your precepts concerning everything,
I hate every false way.
F Pe.
129Your testimonies are wonderful;
Therefore my soul observes them.
130The unfolding of Your words gives light;
It gives understanding to the simple.
131I opened my mouth wide and panted,
For I longed for Your commandments.
132Turn to me and be gracious to me,
After Your manner with those who love Your name.
133Establish my footsteps in Your word,
And do not let any iniquity have dominion over me.
134Redeem me from the oppression of man,
That I may keep Your precepts.
135Make Your face shine upon Your servant,
And teach me Your statutes.
136My eyes shed streams of water,
Because they do not keep Your law.
Q Tsadhe.
137Righteous are You, O LORD,
And upright are Your judgments.
138You have commanded Your testimonies in righteousness
And exceeding faithfulness.
139My zeal has consumed me,
Because my adversaries have forgotten Your words.
140Your word is very pure,
Therefore Your servant loves it.
141I am small and despised,
Yet I do not forget Your precepts.
142Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness,
And Your law is truth.
143Trouble and anguish have come upon me,
Yet Your commandments are my delight.
144Your testimonies are righteous forever;
Give me understanding that I may live.
J Qoph.
145I cried with all my heart; answer me, O LORD!
I will observe Your statutes.
146I cried to You; save me
And I shall keep Your testimonies.
147I rise before dawn and cry for help;
I wait for Your words.
148My eyes anticipate the night watches,
That I may meditate on Your word.
149Hear my voice according to Your lovingkindness;
Revive me, O LORD, according to Your ordinances.
150Those who follow after wickedness draw near;
They are far from Your law.
151You are near, O LORD,
And all Your commandments are truth.
152Of old I have known from Your testimonies
That You have founded them forever.
R Resh.
153Look upon my affliction and rescue me,
For I do not forget Your law.
154Plead my cause and redeem me;
Revive me according to Your word.
155Salvation is far from the wicked,
For they do not seek Your statutes.
156Great are Your mercies, O LORD;
Revive me according to Your ordinances.
157Many are my persecutors and my adversaries,
Yet I do not turn aside from Your testimonies.
158I behold the treacherous and loathe them,
Because they do not keep Your word.
159Consider how I love Your precepts;
Revive me, O LORD, according to Your lovingkindness.
160The sum of Your word is truth,
And every one of Your righteous ordinances is everlasting.
E Shin.
161Princes persecute me without cause,
But my heart stands in awe of Your words.
162I rejoice at Your word,
As one who finds great spoil.
163I hate and despise falsehood,
But I love Your law.
164Seven times a day I praise You,
Because of Your righteous ordinances.
165Those who love Your law have great peace,
And nothing causes them to stumble.
166I hope for Your salvation, O LORD,
And do Your commandments.
167My soul keeps Your testimonies,
And I love them exceedingly.
168I keep Your precepts and Your testimonies,
For all my ways are before You.
: Tav.
169Let my cry come before You, O LORD;
Give me understanding according to Your word.
170Let my supplication come before You;
Deliver me according to Your word.
171Let my lips utter praise,
For You teach me Your statutes.
172Let my tongue sing of Your word,
For all Your commandments are righteousness.
173Let Your hand be ready to help me,
For I have chosen Your precepts.
174I long for Your salvation, O LORD,
And Your law is my delight.
175Let my soul live that it may praise You,
And let Your ordinances help me.
176I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant,
For I do not forget Your commandments.

How Could You?

Lately, everything is so overwhelming. It's overwhelming in a different way. The world is so bright, every sense is heightened. Every person special. Every breath fills up my chest, filling me until I explode. All the swirling, white clouds are moving and changing like my thoughts. I think about life; how can it be so good?
I've often thought of my life as lame. I expect too much I guess. I think about "Where much is given, much is required", and I in reality, I've got it all. But I want to give so much more. I want to live so much more. Can I live like my heart says? Can I be all the crazy things I want to be?
I've heard it said, you choose your life. Many times, as it seems, we can't... We feel stuck, trapped. But the reality is WE CAN CHOOSE. Whose to say we can't do everything we want? The good man, Jack, says that. Who says I can't go do crazy things like live in Sudan, and love war torn beautiful people, or who says I can't live in North Omaha and love hopeless, desperate people? So far, I am the one saying it, cause I am the only one not doing it.
Just when I am about to be utterly discouraged.... GRACE comes and whispers
"For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." "Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent." Jesus loves me!!!
That day is coming... do you feel it? I do. Do you hear the groaning?

I'll leave you with my inspiration...

Upside Down ~ Jack Johnson
Who's to say what's impossible?
Well, they forgot this world keeps spinnin'
And with each new day, I can feel a change in everything.
And as the surface breaks, reflections fade,
but in some ways they remain the same.
And as my mind begins to spread its wings,
there's no stopping curiosity.
I want to turn the whole thing upside down.
I'll find the things they say just can't be found.
I'll share this love I find with everyone.
We'll sing and dance to mother nature's songs.
I don't want this feeling to go away.
Who's to say I can't do everything?
Well, I can try.
And as I roll along I begin to find
Things aren't always just what they seem
I want to turn the whole thing upside down.
I'll find the things they say just can't be found.
I'll share this love I find with everyone.
We'll sing and dance to mother nature's songs.
This world keeps spinnin' and there's no time to waste
Well it all keeps spinnin', spinnin', 'round and 'round and
Upside down, who's to say what's impossible and can't be found?
I don't want this feeling to go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Please don't go away
Is this how it's supposed to be?
Is this how it's supposed to be?

Nicaragua ~ the land I love!

If hell was personalized...my hell would be cold, windy, frozen, icey. So basically it would be like today. When the snow comes, I think happy thoughts. I think of a place where "the beer flows like wine, and the women flock like the salmon on the island of capastrono" --No actually, I think of Nicaragua.
I think of all the beautiful green hills, the smelly cars, and the heat. The heat that makes your clothes stick to you or right when you get out of the cold shower; you sweat instantly. Some of my favorite times was when I would take a siesta and lay in bed with the fan blowing on me full blast. It still didn't help, but to think about that heat, makes me smile.
I know I was born to live in a hot place. Because I love it!
I am just waiting for Jesus to send me to the Middle East, Carribiean, or Central America. Anywhere hot, basically.
This is a random blog.

I miss the people. I miss the relationships that I made there. But I was so encouraged that no one forgot me. If anything, I made MORE friends by leaving and coming back. Even the random guys in the market that I never officially met, they came and hugged me when they saw I had returned. It was great! What sweet, caring and authentic people. I am so blessed that they still write me, they still care, and still pray for me. I pray for Nicaragua. Father bless them with your presence, Rain down your love over Nicaragua. I pray for the children living in the streets, washing car windows... Bring them out of the poverty. Would you change me, so I can believe You and by your authority, "Go and make disciples..."

Thank You for Your Mercy, Thank You for Your Blood, Thank You for Your Love!!!

So I have to tell you...

As my Dad was trying to open up his Oreo bag; He says, "No wonder these are low-fat, I can't get them open."

He is hilarious.

Making a Difference...

"The Lord works in mysterious ways"....actually I don't think He does. I think He usually tells us what's going on; the key is to listen....and watch the news. A couple of friends, Nathan, Carla and I, decided we should go and pray in North O. In response to lots of promptings from Holy Spirit (It might not be gramatically correct but I find it weird to say "the" in front of H.S., if He is a person in the trinity, why do we say "the" Holy Spirit...like we don't say "the" Betsy?) Anyway...back to the story, Carla and I saw the news Friday night and they asked for volunteers on 24th and Lake to go search for Amber Harris whose been missing since last November. We decided to take up the opportunity to invest in our community by going to the search.
Now, God doesn't work in mysterious ways, but God is funny. On the way down to North O, we were discussing possible things people might ask us. We took in to consideration that we might be the only white folks down there (We weren't by the way). One of the questions Nathan thought of was "What made you guys come down here?" None of us were sure of the correct response. Later, while we were filling out papers down on 24th and Lake in the OOIC building, a camera man started filming us and asked "so what made you guys come down here?" So, I suppose the Lord was trying to prepare us!
This was a serious thing, we were searching for articles of clothing, books, shoes, or even...body parts. Wow, it was intense. But just like intense situations overseas, it brings in the joy of the Lord, and we were able to enjoy ourselves. Carla and I were on the same team, while Nathan was in another. While searching, we met Jerry and he was hilarious. He found some nice glasses. There is a lot of junk out there (not at Grampies though, but that is a different story).
Besides all the treasures, FOX 42 shows up, and well...long story short, I get interviewed. Ya, we did the whole "walk and talk" gig. I had my 2 minutes of fame on T.V. (so does that mean I still get 13 more minutes someday?)
All in all, it was an extremely fulfilling day. Praying in North O and helping out our city.
Following Jesus is so rewarding, fun, and random.

As Jerry called them..."Safety Goggles"

Afterwords, we thought we'd pose in good 'ol Benson

It's always good to be patriotic and have an extra purse

Invitation

The Lord speaks to me. I know that He does, I've heard Him before, but there is always those certain times that am taken aback that the Great God of the universe, the Jesus who died for me and rose again, speaks to ME.
Lately, it's the word invitation. It is constantly on my mind. It all started in the year 2000, I wanted to sell all I had and live on nothing but Jesus. I did sell everything I could, and lived in Washington that summer. I guess ever since, I've always had a deep, yearning (if you will) to follow Jesus' words to the rich young ruler..."Sell all you have and give it to the poor."
I've heard so many give their opinion on what Jesus really meant.
"Well, we don't really have to sell everything, He just was making them an idol in his life."
Ya that sounds good, but when Jesus said, "Love your enemies" (Matt. 5:44) did he just mean some of them, or did he mean the terrorists too? Or when Jesus said "Go and make disciples of all nations" (Matt. 28:19) did he mean some nations or all nations?
I, personally, know what Jesus means. He doesn't really seem like a guy to beat around the bush. He doesn't seem to sugar coat things either. I guess, from my interpretation, is that Jesus means what He says.
It is interesting because the rich, YOUNG (like me) ruler had everything, and yet... He said "all these things I have kept (the commandments); what am I still lacking." Lacking?! How can he say that!? He is lacking nothing. He is "perfect"; keeping all the commandments, rich, probably good looking. I mean he's got it all, but yet... He was lacking.
And Jesus says, "If you wish to be complete, go and sell you possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me."
That verse has haunted me for the past six years. There is so much there.
Jesus, the Son of the Living God, INVITES us to be complete...lacking in nothing, IF we sell all.
What is mixed up theology!?! But it is my dream. I dream of it all the time, I am consumed. Where some people dream of being rich, I dream of the day I actually have enough guts to sell EVERYTHING and give it to the poor. It is the most radical, moving, inspirational, and freeing invitation ever. It's an invitation to intimacy and simplicity into the heart and lifeline of the Father. He loves the poor, and He invites us into that beautiful simple life. Do you realize how freeing that would be to make a decision to sell everything?
"Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" -Matt. 6:25
To be continued...

No Substitution

This was supposed to be about a night of no substitution, but now it is a weekend. This weekend is the best weekend of my life...well, a great one anyway.

I CAN NOT believe I have waited so long to be a Youth leader. I mean seriously, it is the most amazing thing in my life. I went to the retreat, and everything I prayed for was answered... of course not ALWAYS in the way I want, but God is so beautifully faithful. I feel like a parent. I have so much love for these girls, it can only come from a God who IS love. I am in love with this amazing God that captivates us and stops at nothing to shake our world until we see Him. His eyes burn for them, He sees the pain, He sees the emptiness, and He weeps for them. But in it all, He is in love.... He will not stop until they are His.

Allison & Sarah... God loves them...and so do I !!!

Fun girly times: make-up, hair, & Jesus.

Now, I've been to, at least, 30 concerts in my life. (I wrote it down somewhere) But anyway, I've been to a lot, and COLDPLAY was the best ever! We went in expecting a good time. We prayed before hand in the car, and we walked in, the band of four (Carla, Me, Steph, and Paul) freezing our butts off, and then came the question. "If you could substitute any other band tonight for Coldplay, who would it be?" And I had none, NO SUBSTITUTION!!!! Ya! They put on such an energetic, fun, entertaining, moving show... it's awesome!

Here is the "surprise"... oh it was a good one.

And there is Chris, going to hold Rajev's hand....aww how cute;)

All in all, it was a freakin' amazing weekend. ( I realize adding "freakin'" to everything isn't always the best word choice, but I just have to use something to get the point across.) I am so blessed to follow Jesus, and to allow Him to move in my life. For Him to be involved in everything...even a Coldplay concert. It was not only a concert of no substitution... But the whole weekend. Thank You Jesus!!!

(photos courtesy of Lisa... Thanks!)

I really have no idea why I put these pictures on here. I just love these girls. I love other youth too, but I don't have pictures of them. I guess, if you read this, pray for the Youth Retreat; it is this weekend. Pray the youth's hearts would be open to receive His captivating love!

The Opposite of Love

I sit next to them, you probably do too. Or at least you talk to them or see them around. The indifferent. The people who could care less (or more) about life. They could settle for less or just be average, it doesn't really matter. Because they are indifferent. They could care less about having their life changed or living life in this full embrace of intimacy and adventure. They have never felt the butterflies in their stomach or the true sensation of fully being loved. They have never known someone to care or someone to give them boundaries. The indifferent weren't born this way, but they've just settled somewhere between their passions and their rejections. They've felt safe in the grey, no disappointment but no expectations. Just pure emptiness. You see, indifference is the opposite of love. And it's the worst place to be.

What Is Your Life's Blueprint? - by, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Six months before he was assassinated, King spoke to a group of students at Barratt Junior High School in Philadelphia on October 26, 1967.

I want to ask you a question, and that is: What is your life's blueprint?
Whenever a building is constructed, you usually have an architect who draws a blueprint, and that blueprint serves as the pattern, as the guide, and a building is not well erected without a good, solid blueprint. Now each of you is in the process of building the structure of your lives, and the question is whether you have a proper, a solid and a sound blueprint. I want to suggest some of the things that should begin your life's blueprint.
Number one in your life's blueprint, should be a deep belief in your own dignity, your worth and your own somebodiness. Don't allow anybody to make you feel that you're nobody. Always feel that you count. Always feel that you have worth, and always feel that your life has ultimate significance.
Secondly, in your life's blueprint you must have as the basic principle the determination to achieve excellence in your various fields of endeavor. You're going to be deciding as the days, as the years unfold what you will do in life — what your life's work will be. Set out to do it well. And I say to you, my young friends, doors are opening to you--doors of opportunities that were not open to your mothers and your fathers — and the great challenge facing you is to be ready to face these doors as they open. Ralph Waldo Emerson, the great essayist, said in a lecture in 1871, "If a man can write a better book or preach a better sermon or make a better mousetrap than his neighbor, even if he builds his house in the woods, the world will make a beaten path to his door." This hasn't always been true — but it will become increasingly true, and so I would urge you to study hard, to burn the midnight oil; I would say to you, don't drop out of school. I understand all the sociological reasons, but I urge you that in spite of your economic plight, in spite of the situation that you're forced to live in — stay in school. And when you discover what you will be in your life, set out to do it as if God Almighty called you at this particular moment in history to do it. don't just set out to do a good job. Set out to do such a good job that the living, the dead or the unborn couldn't do it any better. If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures, sweep streets like Beethoven composed music, sweep streets like Leontyne Price sings before the Metropolitan Opera. Sweep streets like Shakespeare wrote poetry. Sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will have to pause and say: Here lived a great street sweeper who swept his job well. If you can't be a pine at the top of the hill, be a shrub in the valley. Be be the best little shrub on the side of the hill. Be a bush if you can't be a tree. If you can't be a highway, just be a trail. If you can't be a sun, be a star. For it isn't by size that you win or fail. Be the best of whatever you are.
Don't allow anybody to pull you so low as to make you hate them. Don't allow anybody to cause you to lose your self-respect to the point that you do not struggle for justice---how ever young you are. You have a responsibility to seek to make your nation a better nation in which to live. You have a responsibility to seek to make life better for everybody. And so you must be involved in the struggle for freedom and justice.

The Cleverness of Commercial Con-artists

The creative geniuses that come up with ways to make our mouths water or make us think something is better than something else just makes me laugh. I kind of think it is actually hilarious. Like a little inside joke between you and them. Like when you buy something, knowing full well that you are buying it for the sole purpose of the name or picture on the box, then it is nasty; HA, jokes on me!

For example: I am staying with a couple of adorable girls (one is 17, the other is 13) while their parents are in Costa Rica, and so one of them works at Starbucks. I am addicted to coffee, and I need some in the morning. My only choice here is Starbucks nastiness. So out of my MANY choices in the cupboard, my eyes catch on one kind in particular. It looks AMAZING. Creamy chocolate colored bag, with beautiful writing, all cloud like, and it is called "Casi Cielo". WOW. Since I speak a little Spanish, I know that means "Almost Heaven." Well, with a name like that, How can I pass this up! I've always wondered what heaven tastes like. Maybe it will taste like pure smoothness, pure ecstacy. I will be whisked away in one sip, and all my dreams will come true. I will be taken into the clouds, and Look! there is my little personally angel to assist me in my Caffeine Cloud. Aww, and there is all the other angel friends. They surround me as I take more sips of this pure delish delight in a cup, and behold, they take my feet and hands and begin to pamper me with a heavenly manicure and pedicure. Oh what delight!

But alas.... the joke was on me. HA, for when reality hit, and just as I was pouring this "Almost Heaven" into my cup, I could smell the always familiar smell of Starbucks nastiness. And I thought, "well maybe it TASTES good." But no, it tasted like any and every other Starbucks coffee does... NAAAASTY. Of course I drank it, and I still choose this "Almost Heaven" every other morning, but I know deep down, that I've been fooled. I think it was a good con though. Keepin' with the Starbucks name... We keep on con-in' ,as long as their buyin' !

The World is Ineffective

The brain can't take it all. The stimulation of war, religion, speeches...I just can't keep up. I've felt before like I want to; I want to be informed, but seriously I can't hold all that information. I read up on Israel, what's going on over there is VERY significant (I suppose what is going on anywhere is VERY significant also) none the less, I like it there... so, I like to pray for that place. But then I think of Iraq, and the crazy "Crusade" like clash of Republican Christian radical extremists fighting on behalf of freedom for the American dream, against our enemies; the enemies we only presume to love if it does not hurt our American pride.
But really, who am I? I don't know all the answers, I only know that this is not any different from some of our past ways of trying to solve wars that only got worse.
It makes me think of my own wars. See, it is easy for me to blame the government, or them, but not look at myself. I think what is so disappointing to me is that I know I am a part of this. My everyday choices effect the world. I sometimes think there is nothing I can do about it, but I know that the truth is I can and have the ability TO do something about whatever IT is. I am so filled with a passion to speak out, but do I speak love and truth to my enemies in the here and now, right around me? I hope so. All this to say, I am really sad we are in war, and I dedicate this to the Iraqis dying, suffering, being held hostage, or interrogated. And to the Americans fighting, and the families waiting in questions.

Crying Shame - Jack Johnson

It's such a tired game,
Will it ever stop?
How will this all play out
Out of sight out of mind

By now we should know how to communicate
Instead of coming to blows, We're on a roll
And there ain't no stopping us now
We're burning under control
Isn't it strange how we're all burning under the same sun?

Buy now and save, it's a war for peace
It's the same old game
But do we really want to play?
We could close our eyes its still there
We could say it's us against them
We could try but nobody wins

Gravity has got a hold on us all
We could try to put it out, but it's a growing flame
Using fear as fuel
Burning down our name
And it won't take too long
Words all burn the same
And who are we going to blame now?

It's such a crying, crying, crying shame

By now it's beginning to show
A number of people are numbers that aren't coming home
I could close my eyes it's still there
Close my mind be alone
I could close my heart and not care
But gravity has got a hold on us all
It's a terrific price to pay

But in the true sense of the word
Are we using what we've learned?
But in the true sense of the word
Are we losing what we were?

It's such a tired game
Will it ever stop?
It's not for me to say
Is it in our blood or is it in our fate?
And how will this all play out?
Out of sight, out of mind
Who are we going to blame all in all?

It's just a crying, crying, crying shame

If You Think Seattle is Just the Space Needle...You've Been Duped.

In the recent success of the Seattle Seahawks victory, I have gotten a lot of shout outs. Even with my new job, they remember that I am from that area, and everyone is congratulating me. "Hey, way ta go on getting to the Superbowl." I like to respond with a smile, or sometimes I like to try to act like I am a true fan. But the truth is I could care less about them, let alone football in general. I have gotten to like it a bit. I've watched a few college games, but I don't follow it or understand it completely.
I remember going to a couple Seattle Seahawks games back in the day, and to my recollection, we always lost. I remember going to a game where we played the L.A. Raiders, and that was a LONG time ago, I thought I would get shot cause they were like a "gang" team. Ya know, gangs wore their coats....so anyway, we lost to them too. With all that to say, I guess I've never been a fan. It's sad but true. I can not accept the acclamations since I truly have not stuck by them.

The real heros are those who've stuck by, even when they lost to the gang teams. Who, even though they may be beat up at the end, still rooted for them.

I give you a Seahawk Salute!!!

While looking for good Seattle skyline pictures on www.google.com, I noticed that they all had HUGE representation of the Space Needle. As if the Space Needle is really THAT big. Well, for you information, it is not THAT big.

As you can see in this picture, it is kinda a small building. It's big for a person, but not the biggest building in Seattle; like some pictures want you to believe. So, I just wanted you to know, so you don't feel duped like Oprah did. Don't just go to Seattle to see this HUGE Space Needle cause it won't be THAT big...but it is cool looking.

This is a freebee. It's was my favorite place to people watch. If you don't usually people watch, this a great place to start. I love it. I miss it.

If you want to go see it, You should!

This some what relates to how I am feeling about my life right now. Ha!

Check them out at www.despair.com

A Prayer When Overwhelmed and Desperate...

I cry aloud with my voice to the LORD;
I make supplication with my voice to the LORD.
I pour out my complaint before Him;
I declare my trouble before Him.
When my spirit was overwhelmed within me,
You knew my path
In the way where I walk
They have hidden a trap for me.
LOOK to the right and see;
For there is no one who regards me;
There is no escape for me;
No one cares for my soul.
I cried out to You, O LORD;
I said, "You are my refuge,
My portion in the land of the living."
Give heed to my cry,
For I am brought very low;
Deliver me from my persecutors,
For they are too strong for me.
Bring my soul out of prison,
So that I may give thanks to Your name;
The righteous will surround me,
For You will deal bountifully with me.
PSALM 142

Freedom in Silence

"His words were softer than oil
Yet they were drawn swords.
Cast your burden upon the Lord
And He will sustain you;
He will never allow the
Righteous to be shaken."
- Psalm 55: 21-22

I was shaken, but you held me still.
Trapped in vain imaginations, but you shined reality.

When things collide and trouble comes near,

Your voice seems gone but you are here.
I choose YOU. Not the best things in life -- Just raw Jesus.

bare - naked - bruised - bashed - alone - silent - cold - shamed - pure - forgotten - accused -

loving - mangled flesh - blood soaked - bones displaced - tears flowing - heart broken -

unpopular - misunderstood - alone in the crowd - no home - saw the best - treated the worst

lover of all men

devoted to me always.

I am a freak of nature. I am always different from the norm. I constantly am changing and I never know where I am headed. I sometimes think I am going one direction, but My Friend always whispers invitations to live by the rules of love.
A love that Is. It Is because He Is. All I know today is He Is, and He Is with me. It’s in those times I hear Him, and I know my insanity and abnormality is by invitation only. Many are invited, but few RSVP. Few are chosen.
I may not be chosen to do big things in the eyes of others, but I am chosen to big things in His eyes. BIG things might seem different to those who look on the outside, but inside He sees the change in people, He hears my worries and cries, He feels the pain I feel for people. He is moved to bring a change. He is moved by love, and we are moved by Love, and it is in Love that the world is changed. Be in a love that IS; “I AM in love with you.” Know what it is to feel for someone. Know what it is to feel the pain. Know what is it to move the heart of the One that made your heart, lungs, nerves, and stomach.
I am not alone in my abnormality, there is someone else who is different from the norm, and I am thankful.

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am NOTHING.
And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me Nothing.
Love is patient
Love is kind
And is not jealous
Love does not brag
And is not arrogant
Does not act unbecomingly
It does not seek its own
Is not provoked
Does not take into account a wrong suffered
Does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth
Bears ALL things, believes ALL things, hopes ALL things, endures ALL things.
1 Corinthians 13

Sweet Sixteen

After hanging out with a group of 16-17 year olds, I came to realization that I am old. Ok, I know I am not like ancient old, but I felt old. But in the good sense of old, like the biblical "old is beautiful" old. I realize that being old, or getting older in general is this taboo thing that is supposed to be bad, and in America we turn it into this shallow depressing thing to use to pity ourselves about all the things we don't have because we are such-and-such an age.
But really, tonight, I realized I am SO thankful that I am where I am and when I am. There is no other age I'd rather be. I know God is using me and showing me more about myself and it is exciting. I, for sure, do not want to be sixteen, and that does not reflect in any way on any of the sixteen year olds I know now. But when I was sixteen my life was in shambles. Especially compared to the sixteen year olds I know now. I didn't even know what college was, and they are all applying and figuring out there life goals. I am STILL figuring those out! And they said that they can't wait til people stop asking all the "questions", "Do you have a boyfriend? Where are you going to college? What is your major? What are you doing with your life?"
I told them the good news and the bad news.

Good news: God is a good God, and He has big plans for them to know Him intimately and Be used in His Kingdom. He will lead them.

Bad news: The "questions" don't stop til you are at least 30.

*DEEP THOUGHTS* by Jack Handy

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

I guess we were all guilty, in a way. We all shot him, we all skinned him, and we all got a complimentary bumper sticker that said, "I helped skin Bob."

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

I'd rather be rich than stupid.

If you were a poor Indian with no weapons, and a bunch of conquistadors came up to you and asked where the gold was, I don't think it would be a good idea to say, "I swallowed it. So sue me."

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mr. Brave man, I guess I'm a coward.

I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the story of Popeye.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

Some Mountains I've Climbed...

I am praying for God to move MOUNTAINS....and move them to Omaha, Nebraska!!!!

This is Rainier. I used to see him everyday, now he is just a memory. I can only reminisce about the beauty I took for granted everyday.

Montana. It was heaven on earth. It was so beautiful with all the goats, bears and marmots running around. I loved hiking there, especially when my Grandma would say, "it's just a little hike." And it was 15 miles. "But the next hike will only be 11," She said. But that was one way. Ha... gotta love her.

This is Chirripo (no I am not cussing). It was the first "mountain" I climbed to the top. It is actually a peak, the second highest peak in Central America. It is in Costa Rica. So much fun! So much green! It took us 8 hours to get to the base camp (not the top yet!) We found out that there are men who will carry your backpacks for you, and they can get up in 4 hours. Whoa! (I put a picture one of those guys for you.)

Does the "Mount" of Olives count?

So, the point of this being..it is high time I go hiking!!!

Yes, I am obsessed....

So I will save you the suspense, I am going to write about a good book.
Or to quote my sister, "Ya, she'll probably quote this book she is obsessed with and relate it to her life." Ha, I love my sister she knows me so well. So I will just say that this book, to me, seemed like it wouldn't relate. It's about a shepard named Santiago. Yep... But sure enough I find myself dropping my head in my hands and telling everyone around me who will listen, something that spoke to me through it. I love it.
Some of the highlighted points:
"He had to choose between something he had become accustomed to and something he wanted to have."
"There was nothing to hold him back except himself."
"'He should have decided to become a shepherd,' the boy said. 'Well, he thought of that,' the old man said. 'But bakers are more important people than shepherds. Bakers have homes, while shepherds sleep out in the open. Parents would rather see their children marry bakers than shepherds. .. 'In the long run, what people think about shepherds and bakers becomes more important for them then their own Personal Legends.'"

well, I am also pleased to announce, Katie has become an official Donald Miller fanatic, just like me! She is reading Blue Like Jazz, it's a good one!

So What Are You Doing?

It's a simple question really, and everyone seems to ask it. What are you doing? Sometimes we ask it occasionally, or literally, but it always sneaks in the conversations lately or...Always. It's an annoying question, right up there with, "How are you?" It is pretty much the only way to strike up conversation though. I mean for me, I know I am not confident in myself to think of anything interesting to say, or a quirky thing to ask, so I too succumb to the habit of the suposed "I care" question, but it really lacks depth.
For me, I never know how much too share. I think I am an honest person, so I don't like to lie about what I am doing, but I also don't always want to answer. Because the matter of the fact being, I want to do nothing. Nothing in the way that nothing is, me & God, and discovering the freeness that doing nothing really is. I want to accept the invitation that Jesus gave to sell all, and live by faith like Abraham...GO WEST! But can I really?
I think of being a friend of Jesus, and I wonder what it was like to just sleep wherever, not knowing where you were going to be or what would happen the next day. Is it possible to live that dream? I've had dreams, but they seem to be interjected by the "real world". It's my fault, really, letting things seep in. I just can't handle it all, and I certainly can't handle The Question. It's hard to feel alone, it's lonely to feel misunderstood. I guess in those feelings it's a way to know Jesus. But in it all, I know that I am made for a reason, I am made to love God and be loved by God and to love others. That's all that is required, and I don't know what else I am doing right now; except trying to do that.