Tis the season... for lights, wrapping paper, giving food, holiday drinks, ginger snaps, coat drives, coldness, ugly socks, and last but not least, giving. Some of these things I like or they are not a problem for me. Because lights...well they are just hung, and food...it's always good, but the giving can be rough.
I am not talking about gifts, I love that part. I am talking about one certain inevitable sound that hits you after you have spent all your money, and you are about to head out into the blistering cold when you hear the sound...the dinging bell people for Salvation Army. It is the only time in my life, I have not been a cheerful giver. I, in fact, am so defiant that I try to not give. I say in my head, "just look away, try to act like you don't hear." But being the nice polite person I am, I have to respond back when they say "hi" and "God bless you" so then I am sucked into the vacuum of guilt, until I finally reach in and put money in the bucket. I hate it. I am in no way giving out of the goodness of my heart, I am completely giving out of guilt. I feel guilty that this person is standing here where it is cold and telling me "God bless you" as I go in and spend my money on crap. I feel guilty to respond back and say hi without giving, and even worse if I were to not say anything and not give. Plus, I just hear condemnation all over saying, "Aren't you a Christian and all, give give give!!!!" Ya, it's probably not healthy. But what do you do? I try to be a rebellious giver and NOT give, but I can't. I am too afraid they will yell, "You are horrible!" or "She didn't give and look at all her bags!" as I walk by.
I don't even know anything about the Salvation Army. I am pretty sure they aren't actually an "army". I don't know where my money is going, and yet I am forced to give it all the time! I am a sure it's a great organization and all, I am probably a big jerk for hating the bell ringers. (I don't hate the people just the guilt bell and condemnation bucket).
Maybe it's not Salvation Army's problem, maybe it's mine. I should probably look into that.
Until next time, MERRY CHRISTMAS! GOD BLESS YOU! even if you don't give!!!
2 comments:
I know!!! when i went to walgreens the guys started talking to me and i got flustered and opened my wallet and put a 5 in without thinking....afterward i realized he was trying to distract me so i wouldnt know how much money i was giving....i think it is a con...they are like a monopoly placed EVERYWHERE you go...you cant get away from them....so i covererd myself for 5 other locations...until the 6th
I hate it, too. I mainly don't give money because I'm too lazy to stop and dig change out of my purse. But I do feel so bad acting like I don't hear the bell.
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